Inside the Cliff, Ibutatu Estate
“Yes,” Aremu said, quietly, “I think so too.” He thought – he wanted, very badly, to tilt his head down and kiss her again. He swallowed, looking down at her, his head throbbing. The light had changed, he thought; it was clearer than the pale darkness of the storm, and there was a hazy darkening quality to it.
Late, Aremu thought, his eyes closing again for a moment. It was getting late.
He looked back down at Aurelie; he smiled a little at her, his hand coming up and hovering at her cheek for a moment. Aremu swallowed again, hard. Having slept, he felt more like himself; however long had passed between them in the cave seemed like only like a strange dream, and he didn’t know in the least what to make of it, now that he was awake once more. Her hair was mussed, just a little; he thought he could tell where his fingers had disarranged it as it tried to dry.
Aremu took a deep breath, his face evening out into a frown. “We’ll have to swim back,” he said, quietly. “I…” he turned his head to the side, and frowned a little more. I can’t tow you, he wanted to say; I’m not entirely sure I can manage myself. I’m sorry, Aurelie, he wanted to say; you deserve better than me.
Awake, he couldn’t remember how he’d thought he could kiss her; awake, he couldn’t remember – but he remembered her hand fisted in his shirt, and the other one cradling his cheek, and the little noises she’d made. He remembered them; they felt seared into him. He looked at her again, and the beautiful smile on her face, the one he’d woken up to, seemed to have faded away.
He felt it like a blow.
“If I’ve – ” Aremu’s eyes closed for a moment, and opened again, settling on her. He frowned again. “I didn’t – I didn’t mean to push anything on you, Aurelie. I’m sorry,” his hand came to her cheek, delicately cupping it, his thumb stroking over her cheekbone just once, and then lowered, slowly, down to his side. She was still on his lap, and he wanted so badly for her to stay, and at the same time knew without a doubt that he couldn’t ask it of her.
“And I’m sorry too,” Aremu said, his voice shaking just a little, “because all I want to do is kiss you again. I won’t – if you’re not – if you don’t want – ” Aremu closed his eyes again, the pounding in his head returning with a vengeance, as if to make up for whatever sleep he’d managed, his chin tilting down. He couldn’t quite bear to look at her face; he didn’t know what he’d see, and he was more than a little afraid of finding out.