Passive Dorms
It had been on his mind since the dreamy passive had intercepted him during his dinner, a few brief words sending his heart thundering in his chest. As soon as the other was out of his presence, that snide voice was back in Fionn's head. Lars appeared and he was just ready to swoon in a heap; it was pathetic. He knew how pathetic it was and that just made him feel stupid, convinced that whatever the older man wanted to discuss, it couldn't be good. There was no reason to think that it was bad, no indication that anything was off except in the blond's mind.
The servant had decided that the only reason that the other had cornered him in the Laundries a few evenings before was because he felt sorry for him. All those sweet words and touches... well, they'd been too sweet, hadn't they? It had all been false, like Ayden, like everyone who had ever acted that way towards him. Oh maybe his former roommate had meant well, meant it kindly but in a misguided way. But it couldn't last, even a few days' thought was enough to dissuade him from... whatever they had seemed to start up before. They couldn't have a relationship. It was ridiculous of course. As if anyone would want him like that, he was hardly boyfriend material.
So obviously Lars wanted to say that he wanted to change his mind, that the middle Madden ought to keep his distance again. Even if the idea of such a thing was heartbreaking but it was what he deserved, wasn't it? The last thing the teen deserved was that and so he awaited the time of their meeting with a mix of trepidation and nervous excitement.
They were set to meet in Fionn's dorm room, the one that they had once shared, the one that had been Lars' one long before the troublemaker had come on the scene. It was perhaps the most privacy that they could get in this place and that was nerve-wracking in itself. It meant that he'd have to ask Jamie to make himself scarce because having him around would be very weird and he doubted that Lars would be willing to speak freely if the other passive was there. Fionn certainly wouldn't feel comfortable about it, even if the man was basically there just to drop him. Talking to Jamie though...
The previous night had led to a bit of awkwardness between them. The blond had had one of his nightmares again, awoken panting and sobbing and utterly lost, and well... he'd woken his roommate. He'd been so bad that the older boy had risked approaching, seeing if he could do anything and Fionn had- Gods, he hadn't even known what he was asking. Jamie wasn't Lars, he wasn't someone that he could be as comfortable with and so it had just been unbelievably awkward when he'd sought comfort in his arms, anything just to be held. And Jamie hadn't understood, not really, had remembered the sort of touch that the blond liked even though they hadn't carried on any sort of relationship since before Lars' beating. So of of course, he'd cursed him and shoved him away in frustration and humiliation, asking what was wrong with him, receiving a similar retort, even while the boy pointed out that he couldn't have known.
Needless to say, things were odd today.
He broached the subject when they'd both gotten back to the room, Fionn perched on the side of his bed with palms pressed flat on the bedspread behind him, gazing at the floor.
"Jamie... I need you to do me a favour."
"Oh... are you sure? Want to be clear this time?" Jamie shot back, turned away from his roommate as he worked on the fire. He stared at the back of the dark head, watching the way that flames reddened some of the strands. He sighed.
"I'm sorry about last night, all right? I didn't expect you to... to try to- Look, it doesn't matter, okay? Just... just forget that, I'm not going to ask you to- Can you just pop off somewhere for awhile?" he struggled to get out, watching as the other servant turned slowly to look at him.
"Why? Where am I meant to go?"
"I don't know, just... somewhere. You're good at disappearing somewhere, you did it often enough before so... do that! Lars is coming to talk to me about something and-"
"Lars? Coming to talk to- Since when are you two speaking again? Are you even allowed..." Jamie trailed off, the weight of the past hanging between them. They both looked subtly in the direction where the Savatier's blood had once soaked everything that they'd cleaned up between them.
"Yeah, Lars. He came to me. He just wants to talk and well, he probably doesn't want you sticking your nose in. I certainly don't. But it's just talking." Unless it's not and he's coming to kiss you again, he added silently, a blush creeping into his cheeks before more sobering thoughts could come to douse it.
He's not going to be doing much kissing if he's coming to tell you that he doesn't want to see you, that dark inner voice whispered and he shoved it down. It was easier to get rid of in the light, especially when he wasn't on his own.
"Are you sure that... it's a good idea?"
"I'm not going to do anything to him, if that's what you're asking, Jamie," Fionn snapped, unable to keep his temper. He watched the other wince, looking away as silence settled between them. At last, he nodded and asked in a small voice, "When do you want me gone?"
It was an easy matter after that to send the passive on his way, getting rid of him earlier than the time of Lars' anticipated arrival with the request that he knock when he came back if the door didn't happen to be ajar. Fionn thought that a door ajar was a very good signal that it was all right to come in, which was why when Jamie left, he did just that, hoping that Lars would take it as an indicator that he could just walk in; this had been his room up until recently after all so he shouldn't have to knock. After that, it was just a matter of waiting. The blond didn't do well with the matter of waiting.
All sorts of emotions seemed to be twisting within him, nervous anticipation definitely dominating although there was also that fluttery feeling, strangely related to nervousness and yet he knew that it was that special feeling reserved just for Lars, that giddy euphoria that he would soon be present. But the issue was the waiting, the young man too nervous and restless to know what to do with himself.
He sat and squirmed at the edge of the bed, he got up and paced a bit, he went to check on the fire again in spite of the fact that his roommate had just been tending to it. He didn't know what to do with himself, going to fish out the little book that he'd been permitted to have, the content geared towards a younger teenage audience in terms of vocabulary but quite didactic. The passive didn't mind, a book was a book and it turned out that his taste in reading hadn't gone away, just been buried since his arrival in Brunnhold.
The boy settled down on his bed with it, lying on his side propped up on one elbow as he worried at his thumb, the other hand keeping the pages open. When his hand moved to turn the page and the thumb chewing stopped or he ran a hand through his hair instead, the young man bit his lip. Caught up in the print, he was slow to cop the sound of movement, passives meant to hear things even if it was just the subtle rustle of cloth.
It meant that the middle Madden was easily caught, slow to mark his place and stash the volume, flushing as he offered his visitor a tiny, timid smile, gesturing vaguely to indicate that he should come in but not giving much indication about where Lars should place himself.
"Uh... hi."