Sub Rosa Hotel, The Stacks
But she didn't truly wish that, not to be truly nothing. Although perhaps it was more peaceful; the halfsies at Frecksat hadn't seemed unhappy when she'd turned her eyes upon them. If her sister had been the galdor instead of the diplomat then things would have been so different. If all of the Ecks children had been galdori then their parents would have been so much happier and Ksjta would never have gazed at her middle child as if questioning why she had been spared, as if it should have been her and she resented her for not having been the failure. Maybe if the three had been magical, Drezda wouldn't have come to mirror the disappointment in her mother's eyes, to live up to what the other seemed to see when she looked at her.
Alas, she wasn't invisible enough, she wasn't a passive hidden away from sight and her sister hadn't joined her magical brethren in their schooling. Thus, Drezda was simply what she was and she was stuck with it; she could be no one else, as much as she might wish it at times. If she could just be better then-
Tom's sharp 'no' made her flinch, feet stopping in place and she remained rigidly in place as if she'd put down roots, the barest sway to her form as if she was a tree stirred in the wind. Her head moved, barely, turning a inch and then two, slow and almost painfully. He moved closer and she watched him in her periphery, wondering for one wild moment if he was going to strike her, some cold fury that she couldn't see sequestered beneath the surface of his creased features. But a blow didn't come, even though the woman's eyelids fluttered, reacting to a movement that never came aside from within her imagination.
Instead, he opened his mouth and... and he...
The venom towards her mother startled her, shocked as well and some part of her brain fizzled and burst like a firework, creating something dazzling within her, the explosion scattering her thoughts and any sense that she possessed. Her mother was so respected and while she was often irritated by her, loathed her, envied her, cursed her, no one else had ever- People didn't say such-
"Heshath? Don't you mean Te-" the words started off almost slurred, confusion reigning in her mind as she tried to process the expletives he'd just flung at her regarding Ksjta Tzacks. But she heard herself before she finished the word, jolting back to her senses as readily as if someone had doused her in icy water.
Oh Bash, oh Alioe, oh Circle! she moaned, almost whimpered in her head.
Tek! Gods, why was she so thoughtless and stupid and-
Tom probably knew Tek for Bash's sake!
She had opened her mouth to put her foot in it because she was a fool.. A fool who couldn't be trusted with her tongue, shouldn't be trusted with it because she said the damnedest things. The Hoxian couldn't have said anything worse if she tried. She whispered an apology, syllables light on her breath, maybe unheard by him.
Her eyes shut, scrunched closed so that she wouldn't have to look at him, wouldn't have to see his response to her stupid, thoughtless remark. She didn't want to see the disappointment in Tom's gaze, knowing that she was ignorant and inconsiderate. Or righteous anger, she didn't want to see that either. As such, she was surprised when she found his hand on her shoulder. He was close of course - she'd known that, she could feel that porven field - but for him to lay a hand on her after everything she'd said. The raen's touch wasn't a hard one but an almost comforting one, tremulous though it was. Her eyes opened slowly, heavily hooded and glinting as he spoke.
"Oh, I can't- She's not bad. She came all the way from Hox to see me and... and she isn't- You'd do well to talk to her," she explained shakily, a hand fluttering up to her head again as if seeking the scattered pieces of her mind. She couldn't ignore Ksjta, couldn't ask Tom to join her in her defiance, her rebellion, her rudeness by not going to breakfast.
Drezda wasn't worth what he seemed think she was but yet he wanted to stand with her, to stick together, choosing her over the woman who understood what he was rather than the one who understood what he had been. A human who had died, who she had somehow bonded with and trusted. She'd betrayed him in her own way, disrespected and judged him and yet he stood before her now, offering support.
Gods, he was her friend!
Emotion flooded her, tears truly welling in her eyes and then shockingly, she found herself moving close to him so she could throw her arms about his neck. There was a stiffness in the way she held herself as if still holding herself somewhat apart but she was hugging him.
"I.... I appreciate that. A-A-And I'm glad that you don't... d-d-don't hate me after..." she trailed off, drawing back carefully, limbs shaky as well as she brought up a hand to dab at overflowing eyes.
"Sorry. I'm an idiot, I..." Drezda stuttered to a halt, teeth pressed into her lip in a vain attempt to stop its shake, gazing at him uncertainly although she raised her chin, swiping carefully at her teary gaze once more.
"I don't expect you t-t-to forgive me. For what I said but... will y-you be in my corner downstairs? Will you t-t-talk to her and breakfast w-with us?" she asked softly.